Hot surfer girls needed Now!

I was just cleaning house, deleting old files and such, when I ran across a priceless advert that I found on Craig's List about a year ago and saved because it was so damn funny:

"This ad is for some hot girls that would like to take a road trip or local surf trips with us. We are unique, lifelong surfers from SantaCruz and Hawaii.We are heterosexual, somewhat homophobic males, both in our mid thirties. WE ride all kinds of waves from 1 foot to 20. The deal is this. Kai lost his truck in the sea! Yes, he drove it into the sea,he says, it was an accident. My driv. lic. is suspended for multiple DUI's. This leaves us without transportation sometimes. If you are a hard core surfer girl or a girl who wants to get hard core,or a girl who wants to just be with the hard core, we want you! You must be 18 to 40 yo, female, (sorry, no transgendies) and HOT! The definition of hot is not defined exactly, so you may think your hot when your not and you might think your not when your hot. For this reason, we encourage you to respond. YOU MUST not use meth or smack,they are expensive, destructive and ugly. You must have a source of funding: JOB, TRUSTFUND(very good!) generous aunt, etc.. and last but not least, you must have an SUV, VAN, STATION WAGON or some vehicle capable of conveying humans, pitbulls and surfboards. WE HAVE RACKSTHAT WILL WORK ON YOUR VEHICLE, DONT TRIP! You must allow dogs (andother animals?) into your vehicle at times. You must be 420 friendly,if not fiending. A little more about us. WE are both employed and self sufficient. we are not looking for handouts. we pay 4 gas and things.Him; dark hair, green eyes, 5 9 very fit. Me: blond/brn hair , greeneyes. 6 1 reasonably fit. We like hot girls, big tubes, reading,writing and some arithmetic, skating( not roller blading,skateboarding!) Big dogs, bad girls, crazy drunk people, dive bars,the tropics (why are we here?) watching people beat each other up(Is thatwrong?) sleeping in tents in the redwood forest next to big waves.Thanks for reading and lets make some history!"

Isn't it fabulous?

I'm trying to imagine what these guys look like...

What do you think?








craig's list

Those Wacky Finns #4

Thanks to a tip from Dad, this just in:



SAVONLINNA, Finland (Reuters) - Anyone wanting to throw away their mobile phone can do it in style and may even win a medal -- at the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championship, Finland's latest contribution to offbeat athleticism.

Originally a local event in this small town close to the Russian border, the seventh annual contest Saturday drew some 100 throwers from as far afield as Canada, Russia and Belgium.

Founder Christine Lund describes the event as a good source of light exercise with an environmentally friendly twist. "There are a lot of mobile phones on the second-hand market, and we are recycling them (before they become toxic waste)," she said.

This year's gold medal went to Finland's Lassi Etelatalo, who flung a scrapped Nokia unit a forceful 89.00 meters. "I prepared by javelin throwing, I haven't really practiced throwing mobile phones," Etelatalo told Reuters.

In the freestyle event, Dutchman Elie Rugthoven's phone landed outside the designated area, but he still won silver thanks to a phone juggling performance that impressed the judges.

Very impressive! I wonder how Russell Crowe would have fared had he been in the competition?



Probably quite well in the "Drunk Angry Man Throws Phone At Bellhop" event.

wacky finns, phone throwing

In the Blink of an Eye

How long does it takes for a person's life to change? If you want to lose weight they tell you it takes weeks, months or years to significantly change your habits. If you want to change your job it can take anywhere from one day to several years, especially if the change requires more education. When people win the lottery they might feel that their lives have changed overnight, but statistics show that most people who win a huge sum just end up squandering it away in a short period of time and end up as bad, or worse, than they were before; so no change.

On August 8th the lives of my friends Will, Trish, and daughters Samantha and Catherine changed, drastically and forever, in less than one second. Because Will failed to see a large vehicle heading toward him on a country road, he pulled out in front of it and his car was smashed almost beyond recognition. Daughter Samantha, 14, in the front seat, was probably killed instantly, Will was alive but had the lowest possible neurological reading, daughter Catherine, 11, in the right back seat, had a seriously broken femur, two cousins, also in the back seat, were relatively uninjured. Trish was following one car behind with Will's sisters and their husbands and witnessed the nightmare. Will was kept alive on life support in order to find donees for his organs, the plug was pulled four days later.

In half a moment this joyful and close family of four was violently torn in half. I went to the service, a double funeral, on Thursday August 17th, held in Minneapolis. Although it was a stunningly beautiful service, it was the saddest and most difficult memorial service I have ever attended. My boyfriend Tom who rarely sheds a tear (twice so far, death of dog, death of dad) sobbed like a child after the service; we sat there stunned until long after the church was empty. After the funeral Trish shook her head and said "But we were such a happy family, how could such a thing happen to us?"

The next day Trish took Tom and me on a bicycle ride throughout her favorite areas of Minneapolis. We saw their house, Will and Sam's favorite diving lakes, sculptures, gardens, and we ate a late lunch at their favorite bistro. Trish said "I'm determined to be happy, I don't know how yet but it's going to happen."

Catherine is currently in a wheelchair recovering from her broken leg. Trish will need to look for work. She doesn't know if she can live in their house anymore, too many memories of Will and Samantha. She needs to do what she can to grieve while at the same time looking out for the needs, desires and fears of her young daughter.

Will was a hard worker, incredible diver, generous teacher, excellent cook, gardener, knitter, baker, friend, father, husband, outdoorsman, the list seems endless. Samantha was a diver, athlete, great student, singer, poet, chicken raiser, teenager, and would have attended her freshman picnic on Friday, the day after her funeral. Why do good people have to die when there are so many horrible, awful people who live seemingly forever and continue to waste breathing space? It's a dilemma without an answer.

So, dear friends, please do the things you really want to do instead of putting them off. Visit the friends you haven't seen "but keep meaning to." Instead of making excuses make plans.

Will asked Tom and me for years to come and visit them in Minneapolis. It's tragic that the reason we finally made the trip was for his funeral.

Those Wacky Finns #3

In all the hubbub of meeting Synthia in Hawaii I completely missed one of my favorite international athletic events, the World Wife Carrying Championship in Finland.

In 1992, the people of Sonkajarvi decided that it was time to revive some long-forgotten traditions: back in the late 1800's there was in the area a brigand called Rosvo-Ronkainen, who was said to have accepted in his troops only those men who proved their worth on a challenging track by carrying heavily weighted bags. In those days, it was also a common practice to steal women from the neighbouring villages.

So that's how this small town in central Finland became the focus of attention of world media and sportshusbands and wives. From year to year a large number of competitors, public, and media from Finland to Canada attend the annual Wife-Carrying rendezvous in Sonkajarvi, doubling the population of the town for the weekend.

The Wife-Carrying World Championship is becoming increasingly popular. If he were alive today, old Rosvo-Ronkainen would have faced tough competition from husbands from as far away as Estonia, Norway, Ireland, or the United States of America.

Finishing upside down clinging to a man's back may not be the most graceful way of winning gold, but it sure helped Sandra Kullas and Margo Uusorg to the world wife-carrying crown on Saturday, July 1.

The Estonians were among 40 pairs from eight countries who competed in the annual event in Sonkajarvi, in central Finland.

They raced along a 250-meter track, complete with pools and hurdles, with the men running or walking and carrying the women on their backs.

Uusorg, 26, finished in 56.9 seconds, a world record, while Kullas, 19, clung to his back upside down with her legs around his neck. They beat Uusorg's bother Madis by 3 seconds.

"I was a bit nervous before the start, but when I started running it felt fine," Margo Uusorg said after the race. "I wanted to jump over the hurdles, but I was afraid I might fall and get penalty seconds."

The prize for the first place winner? His wife's weight in beer!

wacky finns, wife carrying, finland

Dying To Meet You

Do you ever read the obituaries? I do. No, I'm not looking for people I know (knew?). I'm looking to see if there are people I SHOULD have known, interesting people I never had the chance to meet. Last week's obits in the SJ Mercury included a few interesting prospects:

Milfred Harold Reeves, 96, a San Jose resident since 1951. After moving to San Jose, he worked for the Southern Pacific Railroad until retirement. He was active politically in the civil rights and anti-war movements and was a strong supporter of the United Farm Workers Union. He bought an apricot orchard in San Jose and lived there the rest of his life, rejecting the entreaties of real estate agents and developers. He cared for the orchard, climbing ladders to prune trees, into his 90's.
This guy sounds like a real pistol! Not many people around these parts refuse to sell their orchards.

Leila Jean Lile was born in Salem, S. Dakota, March 20, 1921. She taught in a one room school house in the Dakotas and often had to stoke the coals for heat. She left the cold country for sunny California and worked at Douglas Aircraft as a "Rosie-the-Riveter" before landing a Hanford teaching position in the San Joaquin Valley.
It goes on to say she led a lifetime of volunteer work up until her death. I'll bet she had a few stories to tell. Her last name is almost the phonetic twin of her first.


Edward J. Riffle
War Hero, Salesman, Bicyclist (I'm interested already.)
Edward J. Riffle died quietly at home at age 87 after leading a life of love and happiness. Ed Riffle was born on November 25, 1918 in Pittsburgh, PA. His father died while he was still a child, and the Depression began when he was 11 years old. After struggling for years to make ends meet in Pittsburgh, Ed's mother, in 1934, packed up all the family's belongings, and took Ed, his sister Betty and brother Roger to California in a 1927 Chevrolet. They settled in South Pasadena where Ed began work at the Market Basket Grocery Store in the produce department. As a result of his family's need for his income, he never was able to graduate from high school. While working at Market Basket, he met Mary Kilcommons, the love of his life, in a church choir. A few years later, Ed and Mary and a few family members drove to Yuma, Arizona, where Ed and Mary were married. Following the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Ed was drafted and sent to Fort Bliss, Texas. Despite Ed's lack of formal education, a board of officers picked him to attend Officer Candidate School. He became a "90 day wonder" commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Artillery. He was sent to France where he joined Patton's Third Army in England. He entered France shortly after D-Day, and participated in Patton's rush across Europe as a gunnery officer in the 128th AAA (Anti Aircraft Artillery) Gun Battalion. He was awarded the Bronze Star for bravery in action, and promoted to Captain. While stationed outside Nancy, France, Ed assisted a young boy, whose father was in a German prison camp, with his math homework. Fifty years later, that young boy, now a successful architect, contacted Ed and invited him to France to visit for a week with his family. Ed did travel to France where he was warmly embraced by a family who remembered his generosity in difficult times. After the war, Ed returned to California where he began his very successful career as a manufacturer's representative, mostly with candy products. He sold such successful brands as Pez, Junior Mints, Sugar Daddies, Heath bars, Charleston Chew and Cadbury all over Northern California and Hawaii. He was a classic salesman, wearing bow ties for years and always having a joke available for any occasion. His company, Edward J. Riffle & Co., employed as many as six salesmen and was one of the first such sales organizations to adopt a Profit Sharing Plan for all its employees. Following his retirement as a salesman, Ed and Mary kept quite active, traveling throughout the United State and Europe and attending annual reunions of the 128th AAA Gun Battalion wherever they were held. They made contact with Mary's relatives in Ireland, and visited often. The Irish relatives also visited Redwood City regularly, where Ed and Mary opened their home to all comers.At about the time he lost his beloved Mary in 1998, Ed began to bicycle, joining the Skyline Cycling Club at the Bicycle Outfitter in Los Altos. He worked himself into tip-top physical condition, and prided himself in making it to the top of the highest hill on the weekly Youthful Seniors Ride. He began an annual event of riding the same number of miles as his age on each birthday. He made it to riding 85 miles on his 85th birthday. Not long thereafter he attempted a 100 mile ride, falling just short when he hit a hole in the pavement and went over the handlebars. Undeterred, he recovered and returned to riding his bike daily. Ed made a whole new set of friends as a result of his interest in bicycling. Those new friends, like so many others, mourn his passing.
What a guy! I realized as I was posting this that one of his sons is my estate lawyer (not that I have an estate, mind you). This explains why they are able to afford such a long obituary.

A few months ago I noticed the Mercury had dueling obituaries...a man named Sal died and his first obituary was from his family, including wife, the subsequent obituary was clearly from his girlfriend. It was amusing but also tacky in an uncomfortable I-shouldn't-be-knowing-this kind of way. Unlike the above obits I didn't actually want to know Sal, but I was sort of curious about the guy. I don't recall how or why he died, but it sounded like he checked out in the nick of time.

How We Say NO

I have lived in California all my life except for a few years in Arkansas and a few in Georgia. Don't ask. I love California and I adore Californians. Generally speaking we have many wonderful qualities, but one of the things we are very bad at...we hate to say NO. I'm not sure why, maybe we think it's impolite, maybe we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, maybe we're wimps.

We say other things when we mean NO and people from different regions don't understand that. So here are a few phrases that we Californians say that sound like YES but really mean NO:

"I'll think about it and let you know." = means NO

"I'll check my schedule and get back to you." = means NO

"That sounds awesome, I'll see if I can make it!" = means NO

"I'll show up if I can find a babysitter." = means NO and I have no intention of looking for a sitter.

"Maybe." or "I'll try." or "We'll see." = all mean NO

No response = means NO and I hope you forget you asked me

Once in a while we do say "NO." And we usually mean it. Maybe.

how to say no, californians, saying no

Back in California

I'm back in Silicon Valley after a whirlwind three weeks in Hawaii. The reason of course was to rendezvous with Synthia after her amazing single-handed sail/race from SF Bay to Hanalei. Synthia ended up winning both her division (three boats) and class (eights boats). She really wanted to win the darn thing overall but the weather gods did not smile kindly on her. The entire fleet bobbed around in no air for 4-5 days which is TORTURE. Of course since it's a sailboat race the sailors cannot use their engines. So they sit trying to eke every tiny bit of speed out of their boat possible.

When the winds are light then the bigger boats make out because they are the first to hit the wind and the margin between them and the small boats gets bigger and bigger each day. The rich get richer.

As you can see there is NO F***ING WIND!











One night the breeze started to fill in and the squalls began to form in the distance. This was a sign that the Pacific High (i.e. no f***ing wind) was about the lift and the tradewinds were about to start blowing.

Synthia was able to set her spinnaker and begin sailing once again toward Kauai! The bigger boats arrived first. Synthia led the pack of the smaller, slower boats. She arrived about 11:00 pm on July 13th. She was followed a few hours later by two competitors with whom she'd had constant contact throughout the race. Her old pal Phil on Sail A Vie and her new pal The General on Harrier. The General (Ken) is 77 yrs. old and this was his 9th Singlehanded Transpac. It was a very busy morning! The General hit the beach at dawn and of course Synthia and Phil had to wait for his arrival:

It's never too early for a celebratory beer or Mai Tai!

My favorite story of the entire adventure was that Hesperus, the smallest boat at 23', lost her rudder about 150 miles from Kauai. Paul deployed the emergency rudder but that failed as well. It was not a good situation. There was still a boat close by, Carroll E., the second smallest at 24'. Chris aboard Carroll E. decided to stay next to Hesperus indefinitely while Paul experimented with various methods of steering the boat...various jib configurations, dragging drogues, etc. After a day or so Hesperus was able to steer without a rudder but at a very...slow...pace. Chris made the decision to stay with Hesperus the entire way into Kauai. Remember they have now been out at sea for about 19 days! It was an amazingly heroic decision for Chris to make, especially since his lovely fiancee Justine was in Kauai waiting for him. Synthia and I were scheduled to leave Hanalei Bay for Honolulu on Monday July 17th, but Hesperus and Carroll E. were not going to arrive until that day, so we and many others postponed our trips so that we could greet our comrades! Synthia serenaded them with her ukulele when they arrived on land.
Paul from Hesperus sure was glad to step on land and get his Mai Tai!!
It is a tradition to meet at "The Tree" on Hanalei Beach every evening at 5:00 to toast the new arrivals. Chris was proud to receive accolades for his good sportsmanship in staying alongside Hesperus.
The next day Synthia and I departed Hanalei Bay Kaui for Honolulu and had a glorious 24 hour sail across the Kauai Channel. We arrived in Honolulu at 4:00 am, napped a couple of hours, then got up and decomissioned our beloved Eyrie to be shipped home on a freighter. It was a terrible culture shock to leave calm, breezy, unpopulated Hanalei one morning and wake up in HOT, NOISY Honolulu the next.
But we got the boat packed up and ready to ship in record time, leaving several days to party with our Pacific Cup pals in Honolulu. But that's another story: