Sunday, December 10, 2006

Telenovela Tot Torture

One of my many vices is watching Spanish language telenovelas. Since I'm trying to learn Spanish I tell myself they're educational, but the truth is that I simply enjoy watching the out-of-control mayhem that ensues every evening.

In many ways they are like American soap operas...the characters are over the top and larger than life, the themes of switched babies and questionable parenthood/adoption/unclaimed bastards loom large, people fall in love in 45 seconds, characters become rich or lose fortunes overnight, and many of the actors sport varying degrees of plastic surgery.

However, there seems to be one theme that pops up much more in the telenovelas than in American soap operas...children are often tortured or treated quite horrendously. For example, in my limited experience of watching only 3-4 telenovelas so far this is a mere sample of what I have seen:



Alborada (Dawn) - My first telenovela, the child abuse wasn't bad really; I only include Alborada because it's my favorite telenovela. Dona Juana, who wore black and carried a big stick switched her own infant, Diego, with the true heir Luis, the future Conde of Guevara, so that her son Diego would grow up with the royal title and all the wealth. Of course Luis had to grow up thinking that his mother didn't truly love him and Diego grew up to be a spoiled, petulant, alcoholic, sadistic and syphilitic disappointment. This was a great telenovela, historical and epic, manly men riding around on horses and brandishing swords, starring the World's Sexiest Man, Fernando Colunga (eat your heart out George Clooney). I just bought it on DVD; it's got English subtitles for those who don't speak Spanish, but I digress.

Barrera de Amor (Barrier of Love)



Dona Jacinta, the matriarch who also wore black and carried a big stick, kept trying to "accidentally kill" her illegitimate grandchild Pedrito by putting him in front of an open window during the cold nights hoping he would catch cold and die. Ultimately, when confronted with all the murders she committed in the name of God's purifications (loosing a bull that trampled her adulterous husband to death, burning alive two women who discovered she was poisoning her daughter-in-law, watching the Padre die at her feet in a diabetic coma while she held his insulin, etc.), she stole the baby with plans to purify him by fire at her in-house religious shrine. Thankfully Pedrito was rescued and Jacinta caught fire and imploded.

Heridas de Amor (Wounds of Love) - Two babies are born the night of a terrible hurricane, Nuria's baby dies, Florencia's baby Enrique lives. Florencia has a serious heart condition and cannot nurse so Nuria, grief stricken, becomes Enrique's wet nurse. Florencia sleeps a lot and every time she dozes Nuria snatches either Enrique or a pillow substitute and wanders the corridors crying over baby/pillow. Eventually Nuria is coerced by villainess Berta to kidnap Enrique for real. Currently Nuria and Enrique are trapped in an insane asylum run by evil nuns; Nuria is allowed to hold and sob over Enrique in between slappings and cold-water showers that the nuns give her. Occasionally Berta visits and she, too, hugs and cries over the baby, lamenting her lack of womanly insticts and/or fear that her growing affection for Enrique will thwart her evil plans. Oh, and Enrique may have inherited his mother's fatal heart condition. Nuria herself was stolen from her family as a young child, Berta stole her then eventually killed Nuria's grandma, but that's another story entirely.

Mundo de Fieras (World of the Fierce although my friend Maria says a more appropriate translation would be World of Hyenas)


I save the best for last. Joselyn is a beautiful and crazy woman who wears animal prints and too much eye makeup. She and her kind but unhappy spouse Gabriel have a son, Luisito, who is crippled as a result of Gabriel and Joselyn arguing in the car and Gabriel crashing it. Joselyn, currently separated from Gabriel and not happy about it, does many horrible things to Luisito to gain Gabriel's attention. Most recently, while Luisito was in his therapeutic water bath with his eyes closed, she snuck in and turned the heat up. He screamed bloody murder and simmered away while Joselyn stood behind the door looking smug and orgasmic. Eventually the bright red Luisito was rescued by his nurse and hospitalized for burns. Joselyn claimed Gabriel was an unfit father and she was granted custody of the little lobster. Her plan was a success and Luisito is still in her clutches.

As a result of all this evil-deed-doing against innocent children is it any wonder that my blood runs cold and I gasp every time a baby is born or an unsuspecting child enters the story line in telenovela land?

For complete english recaps of Alborada check out the Pratie Place blog, for english recaps of the others check out the Caray, Caray! blog, for english recaps of Heridas de Amor only check out the Trying To Translate blog.


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