Last weekend I went to Denver to visit my friend Jennifer. On Saturday we went for a walk and passed a woodpecker in a tree. It reminded her of a time when her friend Mike called her (late) husband Bruce to ask if he could borrow one of Bruce's rifles. Bruce answered "Sure" without asking why or even if Mike knew how to shoot a gun. Guys.
It turns out that woodpeckers were attacking the eaves of Mike's house and Mike was irritated to see a bunch of 1/4" holes in his wood siding.
Several days after Mike borrowed Bruce's gun, Mike's wife Stephanie called Bruce to ask him why in the hell he loaned his gun to Mike. She had several bones to pick with Bruce...
Problem #1: Woodpeckers are protected by federal and state laws.
Problem #2: Mike did not know how to shoot a gun.
Problem #3: Mike decided to shoot at the birds while they were pecking the eaves, in other words, while they were on the house.
Problem #4: Instead of several tiny holes in the house, there were now two large gaping wounds where Mike blew the roof off.
Luckily Mike missed the woodpeckers.
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