The human race is doomed

Stupid dumb asshat of the week award goes to 21 yr. old Joshua Poe from Palo Alto:

Palo Alto man arrested after reportedly trying to scare `bully'
By Mark Gomez Mercury News

A 21-year-old Palo Alto man who reportedly told police he was trying to scare a teenage bully was arrested early this morning on a host of charges, including attempted murder, after he allegedly fired several shotgun rounds into the teen's apartment.

The trouble started Wednesday night when Joshua Poe, 21, broke up a fight between a 17-year-old boy and 20-year-old man at a house party in Palo Alto, according to police agent Dan Ryan. Poe stopped the fight by hitting the two on the head with a rifle barrel; the pair involved in the fight went separate ways without further incident, Ryan said.

Police allege that in an attempt to stop the 17-year-old from further bullying, Poe went home, grabbed a shotgun and ammunition and rode his bike to the Midtown Court Apartments, located near Middlefield Road and Colorado Avenue. After knocking at the door just after midnight, Poe fired several rounds through the front door and forced his way into the residence. Once inside, Poe allegedly chased a woman with the gun.

He was chasing her around, demanding to find the kid," Ryan said. "The kid came out and took him on."

The 17-year-old confronted Poe with a knife, police say, and a fight ensued. During the struggle, the shotgun was knocked to the floor and the knife was broken. The two were still fighting on the second-floor landing when police arrived.

"Poe thought one of the kids was kind of a bully," Ryan said, adding that Poe wanted "to put a stop to his bullying" by getting a shotgun to "scare him."

Poe was arrested on suspicion of several counts of shooting into an inhabited dwelling, two counts of burglary, assault with a deadly weapon and attempted murder.

Although police report there was drinking at the party, Ryan said it sounded as though Poe "was clear-headed and had a plan of action."

Inappropriate work clothing - how I stack up

Monster conducted a survey of 18,000 people and can reveal what people shouldn't wear to work in the summer months. Here are some of the results. Let's see how I stack up to Monster's professional image:

- Shorts or Short-Cut Capri Pants - While shorts are great attire during personal time, they can be inappropriate for the workplace, as they indicate that a worker has a "vacation" state of mind.
Minus 1/2 point: I love wearing capri pants to work in the summer. I even got the boss to get a couple of pairs and doesn't she just look fabulous with her long legs? Shorts? Fageddaboutit!

-- Flip-Flops - A separate Monster Meter conducted last summer revealed that an overwhelming 80 percent of workers deem flip-flops unacceptable in the workplace.
Minus 1 point: I own so many flip-flops I had to clean out my closet so they would fit. I own a pair of faux fur-lined flip-flops for my early spring collection.

-- Revealing Clothing - This category includes short skirts, unbuttoned shirts, midriff-length tops and clothes that are too small. When on the job, workers should ensure that clothing accentuates their brains over their bodies, and remember that undergarments were designed to be worn under garments.
Plus one point: Nope, I don't do revealing clothing or undergarments worn on the outside, although one halloween when I didn't wear a costume I wore my undies on the outside just for fun.

-- Loud Colors or Patterns - Just because wild animals sport bright colors to attract a mate, eye-catching clothing should not be used to impress colleagues.
Neutral: Plus one point for not doing this, minus one point for fear of creativity and joie de vivre.

-- T-Shirts - The only work-related activity where t-shirts are appropriate is at a company softball game.
Minus one point: Guilty as charged, and to make it worse they all have hideous sailing logos on them.

-- Wrinkled Duds - Linen and cotton are both popular materials for the spring and summer, but they wrinkle easily. Workers should launder and press clothes made of these fabrics to retain the finished appeal they had when purchased.
Eh? Even I wouldn't wear wrinkled clothes to work. Do other people do this? Plus one point for me then.

Final Tally: a positive .5 points for me, hoorah!

I wonder if Monster has done a survey on how many people blog at work instead of actually doing their work? heh heh

Don Ho - In Memorium

I just heard on the radio that Don Ho passed away four days ago on April 14 2007. Why wasn't this bigger news? How insulting!

I read that when asked about his distinctive "hushed" crooning style, Don claimed that when he started his first band he was such a bad singer he sang softly so as not to drive away the customers.

In the early sixties he got a gig at Duke's in Waikiki. It was there that he developed his trademark of performing with a drink and cigarette in hand. It wasn't his singing, but rather his witty and amusing repartee with the guests that earned him the title 'Mr. Waikiki.'

His biography is on his website, www.donho.com.

Daughter Hoku Ho carries on the family tradition of performing:

Hmm...I wonder if the whole brouhaha with that jerk Don Imus had anything to do with keeping the death of Don Ho out of the news?

Best Telenovela Curse Ever

Of all the fantastic curses I have heard on telenovelas, this is the best one yet:

Caerás en un remolino interminable de la desesperación y que los coyotes rabiosos se coman tus testiculos por toda la eternidad.

Meaning:
May you fall into a never-ending whirlpool of despair and have your testicles eaten by rabid coyotes for all eternity.

Mexican Dichos

One of the many reasons I enjoy watching Spanish language telenovelas is that they are full of "dichos" i.e. proverbs. Here are some of my favorites that I picked up over the last few months:

El amor es ciego pero los vecinos no. = Love is blind, but the neighbors aren't.

Del dicho al hecho, hay mucho trecho. = From the saying to the act, there is much distance. (Easier said than done.)

Mira el burro ablando de orejas! = Look at the donkey talking about ears! (That’s the pot calling the kettle black!)

Otra vez, la burra al trigo. = Once again the donkey goes to the wheat. (It's the same old shit.)

Cría cuervos, y te sacarán los ojos. = Breed crows, and they will take out your eyes. (You reap what you sow.)

En boca cerrada, no entran moscas. = Flies don't enter a closed mouth. (Silence is golden.)

Aunque la mona se vista de seda, mona se queda. = Even though the monkey dresses in silk, she stays a monkey. (You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.)

And my favorite...

Cuando guajolote se fue del guacal va a terminar en mole. = When the turkey leaves the cage he ends up in mole. (The man who play around ends up getting killed, dressed, cut up, boiled, and served in mole sauce. Or something like that.)

Other reasons to watch telenovelas, Christian Meier in Zorro:

Zorro is on Telemundo, M-F at 9:05 - 10:05 with English subtitles.
I'm not the only one who thinks Zorro, La Espada Y La Rosa is the best thing on TV these days!

Eduardo Yañez in Destilando Amor:

Destilando Amor is on Univision, M-F unfortunately at the same time as Zorro, no English subtitles.

Jaime Camil in La Fea Mas Bea:

La Fea Mas Bea is on Univision, M-F at 8:00 - 9:00, no English subtitles.

El Intocable in Duelo de Pasiones. El Intocable (Untouchable) is an ex luchador (Mexican wrestler) turned actor. He's not the hero in Duelo de Pasiones. The hero is a dud. El Intocable has a supporting role in Duelo but I find him much more intersting:

Duelo de Pasiones is on Univision, M - F 7:00 - 8:00.

Intocable!!

There are English recaps of the above telenovelas (and more) at this website, Caray, Caray!

He cut off his nose to spite his face

Last weekend I went to Denver to visit my friend Jennifer. On Saturday we went for a walk and passed a woodpecker in a tree. It reminded her of a time when her friend Mike called her (late) husband Bruce to ask if he could borrow one of Bruce's rifles. Bruce answered "Sure" without asking why or even if Mike knew how to shoot a gun. Guys.

It turns out that woodpeckers were attacking the eaves of Mike's house and Mike was irritated to see a bunch of 1/4" holes in his wood siding.

Several days after Mike borrowed Bruce's gun, Mike's wife Stephanie called Bruce to ask him why in the hell he loaned his gun to Mike. She had several bones to pick with Bruce...

Problem #1: Woodpeckers are protected by federal and state laws.

Problem #2: Mike did not know how to shoot a gun.

Problem #3: Mike decided to shoot at the birds while they were pecking the eaves, in other words, while they were on the house.

Problem #4: Instead of several tiny holes in the house, there were now two large gaping wounds where Mike blew the roof off.

Luckily Mike missed the woodpeckers.

Race to the Lightship

For sailors in San Francisco Bay, spring begins with an ocean race to the Lightship followed a couple of weeks later by a race out to the Farallone islands.

Last weekend Synthia and I celebrated the beginning of the ocean racing season by joining 110 other boats that started along the SF city front, sailed out to the San Francisco Lightship, and sailed back underneath the Golden Gate Bridge.

Our Hawkfarm "Eyrie" did pretty well going out and back, but as we approached the Golden Gate an army ship freighter followed us in and pushed us farther right than we wanted to go.

It's always interesting to gybe underneath the Golden Gate Bridge where raging currents going in different directions often make for turbulent, disturbed water.

We even had to tether our flamingos on to make sure they didn't fly the coop in the wind and disturbed water (note 4 flamingos on back of boat). This picture was taken right before Synthia pulled off a magnificent gybe in 19 knots of wind.

Unfortunately we couldn't carry the kite to the finish line, too much wind and too close of a reach. We took second place in our division, getting beaten by our dear friend (and now nemesis), Phil on Sail A Vie (Ericson 35). Phil wiped out under the GGB but still managed to beat us by 9 minutes.

We'll get you next time Phil!!

Last Call For Yvonne Modica

One of my most unfavorite characteristics about myself is that I pre-judge people, usually incorrectly. I'm terrible at first impressions and I have learned to ignore them (usually) and to adopt a wait-and-see attitude with new aquaintances.

I used to live in Sunnyvale in the late 80's. I lived near a comedy club called Rooster T. Feathers and I went there fairly often, every other week or so, because it was within walking distance of my house.

There was always a kooky old broad stationed at the door taking money and dispensing tickets. She kind of freaked me out because she was completely unlike any elderly person I had ever known. She was wrinkled and tiny, shockingly skinny, and heavily made up with poofed out hair and long talons for nails. To say she dressed flamboyantly is an understatement. I recall one of her outfits, a skin tight bright red suede pants suit.

Because she was so old and scary I would always have my exact change ready, pay quickly, then hustle off to my seat. Since I was always an early bird I had plenty of opportunity to observe her, hunched over and dispensing tickets, from a safe distance. She was a real character but I never had the nerve to speak to her.

Last week I was reading the obituaries in our local paper and a picture of a lady in a tiara caught my attention. It was her, the lady from Rooster T. Feathers! It turns out she was a local celebrity and here is her story:




YVONNE MODICA
Last Call for Yvonne Modica and a bit of Los Altos history.

Yvonne Modica was born Yvonne DeBrier in Atlantic City, NJ in 1914. She worked as a seamstress with her mother during her childhood and teen years and left home at 18. She became a dancer and eventually led her own chorus line called the Yvonnettes at a very posh nightclub called Polombo's. Here she met and had a long love affair with one of Lucky Luciano's closet and most notorious associates - The Gap. Later she met a sailor named Tony Modica whom she married.

During the 1950's she opened and sold a string of successful restaurants most notably the very elegant Golden Hoof Steakhouse in Los Altos, CA now the Original Pancake House still with her original brass bar top. She was the belle of the local restaurant owners, hosting parties every Sunday afternoon at her home for any restaurant folks who wished to show up.

Yvonne's heart was always with the young and creative. Before Bill G. had the Fillmore, during the early 1960's she opened the first rock n'roll night club on the Peninsula - The Big Beat - for teens as well as adults. Another innovation was operating all night on Friday and Saturday after the other bars closed serving coffee for $2.00 a pot and breakfast for $3.00. The best music in town - 2:30 to 6:00 AM when all the working musicians would jam at The Big Beat. A final bit of club trivia is that the day before the club opened, Ken Kesey rented the place from Yvonne for the last legal Acid Trip in the State of California. The band? A very young and unheard of group later to be called The Greatful Dead.

When the psychedelic era of rock n' roll evolved, Yvonne opened a second club called The Trip in San Mateo with black walls and fluorescent painted black lighted monsters. Now it's the home of Camino Camper.

Most remember Yvonne Modica as the feisty little lady at the front door of the Country Store (first in Mountain View then Sunnyvale) or Rooster T. Feathers Comedy Club, who wouldn't let anyone in without paying the cover charge.

Hundreds of young musicians and now famous comedians started their careers on Yvonne's stage. For all of us who worked for her, she showed us how business should be done and how to make a living. Before Gloria popularized Woman's Lib, Yvonne walked the walk but never felt the need to talk the talk.

Even after she retired (at 83!), she still collected door charges for events at the Senior Center in Mountain View.

Yvonne was a Diamond in the rough - A Lady with a Heart of Gold - Who always called a Spade a Spade.

Last call for Our Queen of Clubs came shortly after 12:00 AM Friday February 23, 2007 just about the time she would stop charging cover. She was 92.

I think of the many times I passed by Yvonne Modica with nary a word. Perhaps if I had stopped to chat with her I would have discovered what a fascinating person she was.

I wonder how many other fabulous and interesting people I have missed simply because I sized them up incorrectly or was reluctant to say hello?

Oregon Truffles - Fungus Not Chocolate

Basically winter sucks. However there is at least one good thing that winter brings...TRUFFLES!!!

Almost every year I order fresh truffles from Oregon. Sometimes I order black and white truffles. This year I ordered white only. I sliced them onto steamed green and white asparagus, mixed them with goat cheese and basil, baked them in red potatoes, infused them into honey, butter and olive oil, ate them with pasta and bruschetta.

My three favorite ways of preparing truffles are truffle pasta, truffle risotto, and truffled eggs. Without a doubt truffled eggs is the preparation the brings out the most pure truffle goodness. I believe the easier the recipe (and fresher ingredients) the better the taste...

Use the freshest eggs possible. These are from a friend's hens:


Fresh Oregon white truffles, clean off the dirt and grit:



Per person: Whisk three eggs and add a bit of sea salt (or kosher salt, good salt in other words). Dice some truffles for stirring into the eggs and slice some for the top. Melt approximately 1 tablespoon unsalted butter in pan and when it starts to sizzle add the eggs:


Stir the eggs gently over low heat until they are almost set. Add the diced truffles and add 1 tablespoon of creme fraiche or cream just prior to removing from the fire.

Serve on a warmed plate with toast or crostini:


Before the first bite place a napkin over your head so that you may experience the full aroma of the truffled eggs:

Bon Appetit!!

79th Annual Academy Awards - Oscars 2007

It has been almost a week since sis and I held our annual, star-studded Oscar party.

In addition to our usual clique of stars and musicians...


...we were visited this year by a number of celebrities including Uma Thurmann , John Travolta, and Bob Hope! Clearly some stars view the Seaberg Sisters' party as more important than the Governor's Ball (and heaven in Bob's case).

Hilari has actually attended the Academy Awards! She went the year Bjork wore a dead swan. So, technically, Hilari was the guest with the most star power. On the Hollywood red carpet the photographer would say "Date, step aside please." On the Seaberg red carpet we know Timo, so he is allowed in the picture.

Tom Petty showed up for a few laughs:

And some Clickorice:

Uma Thurmann and John Travolta:

Of course John is playing Tracy Turnblad's MOTHER in the movie hairspray so he's just practicing. Really.

Bob Hope showed up fashionably late and announced there are martinis in heaven:

It didn't take Bob long to hook up with a hottie and dazzle the other guests:

The hostess presented the chocolate Oscar to Uma for winning the ballot:

Dad and Tom consider the leftovers:

Here is our menu from the party:


Snacks:
*Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chex mix
*Clickorice
*Iran in Fragmints,
*Recycled Lifesavers
*No Time For mixed Nuts

Apps:
*Babel ghanoush with Pita O'Toole bread
*Deliverwurst Us From Evil with The Depitted olives and Alan Agherkins on Cars crackers
*Avocalypto guacamole topped with Adriañejo Barraza cheese served with Cate Blanchips
*Cantélope Cruz wrapped with Black Forest Whittaker ham

Mains:
*The Qweenies in Little Miss Bunshine
*The Good Sheperd pie with Meryl Sheep and Jackie Earle Haleeks in an Eddie Murphy's Irish stout gravy topped with My Country, My Country crock mashed potatoes
*Grilled PattyPan's Labyrinth squash
*Mark Wahldorf salad with Will granny Smith apples
*Roasted Happy Beets, Blood orange Diamond and Letters from Iwo Jicama on a bed of Kate Winslettuce, Dame Judy Drenched with a dressing of Dijon Honsou

Dessert:
*The Devil's food cake Wears Praline with The Dreamsicle Girls ice cream

Drinks:
*Helen Beerren, The Good German kind
*Abig-ale Breslin
*Bonny Doon The big Monster House red and white
*The Wines of Others
*Rincoke Kikuchi
*Sparkling Poceider
*Water

See you all next year!!